Something I Need to Make You Morons Understand

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Alright.

Two separate people sent me IMs yesterday with basically the same theme:

"Wow. You are really are a female hater. Wow."

I have referenced this before, but I'll go over some points I may have left behind for all of you.

I don't "hate women". However, I do think, in general, females can and tend to be vile, catty, bitter creatures. Who wants to deal with such a person? Notice the in general portion of my statement. That's because it certainly doesn't extend to all females, as one should infer from such a general statement. I know plenty of wonderful ladies who buck the trend and are far more than decent human beings. They know who they are and they know I love them. End of story.

Something else: I am one of the happiest people on the planet. Anyone who really knows me knows I'm always smiling and laughing and doing something for the amusement of others. It's my nature. It is extremely rare that I have a "Bad Day" or allow the things in life that do piss me off to affect my overall Daily Routine. Part of what keeps me a happy person is that I have this Blog to get rid of all the complaining I have inside of me. Keeps me smiling on the outside. Some of you should try this.

So let's get to the meat of this...

At this point in time, I am particularly disgusted with the female gender. It's likely a two way street--I've pissed off enough broads to fill the Atlantic. Also, I'm partly to blame, as I stayed in a relationship for far too long with a person that I just wasn't compatible with, but was too much of a p*ssy to do the right thing for both of us until I had soured on the situation entirely. All that taken into account, let's just drop everything on the table, shall we?

(EDITOR'S NOTE: Yes, I am generalizing. These are my personal opinions and I do not intend to reflect society at large or anyone else but myself therein, irregardless. So don't f*cking put words in my mouth, lest I bury you.)

1) Women Are Catty--Chicks hate other chicks. It's a fact, and I don't care what anyone says. At one end you have girls who are only friends with guys and have no girlfriends. At another end you have girls with lots of girlfriends, and God knows they talk about them behind their backs every chance they get. Guess what? They both hate other girls. They will jump at a chance to criticize anyone who isn't their favorite celebrity. One of my ex-girlfriend's roommates said it best: "Guys just have a fight and go back to being friends. If it was us, we'd talk about each other behind our backs and be awkward for two weeks."

2) Women Are Too Emotional--Here is one of my main problems. Above all else in this world, I value logic in any given situation. Of course there is always an emotional element to everything, but females take it way, way overboard. Could guys stand to be more emotional and less stoic? Absolutely. But there's that two way street again. Chicks have to learn to be less f*cking emotional. Can you just cry over less and get worked up over bigger issues? Thanks.

3) Women Have No Concept of Male Society--If you are pretty and take care of yourself, seriously, there's no need to doll yourself up every f*cking day. The hours with the makeup and the clothes changing and all the bullsh*t....please stop. I'll lay it out for you right now: if you look as good as Britney or Jessica Simpson or whoever, good for you, that's fantastic. If you don't, that's fine too, because guess what? NO GUY EXPECTS YOU TO. I always hear all this crap that advertising and movies and TV teaches women they need to look a certain way or have a certain cup size and blah blah blah blah blah. You know who is perpetuating this ridiculous notion? OTHER WOMEN. Allow me to be as specific as possible: Guys don't give a flying f*ck about "expectations". Be pretty. Take care of yourself and your body. Stop bitching. I'm not kidding, it's that simple. You aren't being compared to anyone. Stop. Seriously. On a side note, if you are overweight or unhappy with the way you look, complaining and crying about it doesn't help. Find a gym and shut the f*ck up. Irregardless (both of them were for you, T. Rich), people do not exist solely as your own personal EgoElevators.

4) Women Say All They Want is Honesty, When This In and Of Itself is a Lie--This Blog is living proof of such. If you tell them what you really think, there's a firestorm of criticism coming your way. Why? For some reason, there is this mental block that disallows women to see any fault that is pointed out to them by anyone but themselves. It's ridiculous. Let me state something else very clearly, and this is a personal note: I do not sugarcoat or make nice. I have a pretty good sense of tact (unless I have more than four beers in me) and will exercise such. But if you ask me what I think, I'm going to tell you. If you don't ask, I still might tell you, and I'm not going to pussyfoot around an issue simply to avoid conflict. Too many people (guys and girls both) mistake honesty for meanness. That's stupid; don't do it.

There are more but these are the bulk of my issues. Before you cast your stones, a few disclaimers:

1. Maintaining a conscious approach to logic, I do NOT, in fact, assume that every female exhibits the above mentioned qualities. In fact, the first time I meet a female, I'm giving the benefit of the doubt, hoping and praying I'm not disappointed.

2. On that note, I don't expect that anyone should "try" NOT to disappoint me. That's not even an issue. People are who they are. If I don't like you, it's a personal decision. I don't think that anyone should have to live up to my ideal either. That's not the point. Everyone has standards, and I'm damn sure I'm coming in under the Ideal Radar for a hell of a lot of people myself.

3. Furthermore, some ignorant assh*le is going to bring this up, so I might as well squelch it right now: I do not think I am special. I do not think I am God's gift to the world. I'm a person with opinions, like many of you, but unlike many of you my opinions are based in a good deal of thinking, reasoning, and where applicable, factual research. Also, unlike many of you who are spineless or afraid to offend, I express my opinions. The fact that I am not Heaven's Intended Gift to the Female Population does not negate my right to assert what pisses me off. No, I am not perfect. I don't claim to be. Every chance I could be wrong. Got it? Thanks.

4. Debate is good and I encourage it. However, some will assert their right to make a personal attack on myself in whatever manner they deem suitable. Please know, however, that I am confident in the fact that I'm probably smarter than you (no intelligent person needs to resort to a personal attack, unless in jest) and should you choose to engage me in a verbal battle, you are digging your own grave.

One more small point: one of the people who mused about my woman-hating was an ex-girlfriend. The relationship ended on good terms. It was the first time I had heard from her in probably five months or more.

Hmmmmm.....