17 July 2005



Look, the majority of people coming here over the last two days have been looking for Diora Baird pictures. It's not that I don't understand. I do. Of course I do. How could I not? I'm more than OK admitting this.

However, like a forgotten female hookup, I feel used. Therefore, like the female, I need to do something to validate myself. Now typically, were I a female, I'd blow your best friend out of hatred/anger/revenge/sorrow/low self-esteem. But that's not where we go with this blog; that's not where my head's at. Instead I provide you with a service. I provide you with what you want. I provide you with an answer. Or, as it were, answers.

For Diora Baird pictures - yes, naked, you scaliwags:

Diora Baird

For a few naked (and scantily/tightly clothed) pictures of Rachel McAdams:

Rachel McAdams

And, just as icing on the cake, for naked/slightly naked/whatever else pictures of the absolutely amazing hottest girl in WEDDING CRASHERS, Isla Fisher:

Isla Fisher

And don't even ask: would I send you, devoted reader, to a site where you had to PAY for pictures of a naked female? Do you even know who you're dealing with? If you came here by way of Internet search and you don't know, then I understand and I say...I would NEVER send you to anything that wasn't A) Free and B) without agregious/any Pop-ups. Surf in security, friends...surf in security.

After all that, I want to say this about the last female:

Isla Fisher is engaged to Ali G. As far as I am concerned, Ali G is offcially and unoffcially "The Man". This goes without saying. However, it has been some time since I was truly, literally jealous of another man based on his girlfriend. You know what I'm talking about? Celebrity or otherwise, you might look at any other guy on the planet and, based on the girl that's on his arm, you just think, "Jesus Christ...Holy God Almighty am I jealous of that man." And you feel it literally. Well, this is the point I've come to with Isla Fisher. Guys are freaking out about Rachel McAdams, and really, who can blame them? She's fetching, and I use that term in the most flattering way possible - she's got that something about her that's just...yeah. Good God, totally amazing smile, and sexy as all Hell. I can't deny these people, like my very good Best Missing Friend Brian Patterson, who sings her praises. I'm there.

But Isla Fisher? Help me, please. Two huge factors working for her, and they're the simultaneous "Hot Factor" and "Cute Factor", which is very, very rare in a girl. Combine that with "Ubelievable breasts" and "Unfounded Gorgeous Red Hair" and "Short in Just the Right Way", and, well...that's all I can do. She's my current infatuation and I'm not ashamed of it.

Soon I plan to write about WEDDING CRASHERS (which will be short, because obviously it's a biased opinion) and CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY (which is just brilliant on a scale I don't yet have words for). Until then, look at pictures of hot naked chicks and shut the f*ck up.