18 July 2006



First of all, I just want to put out there that I know a lot of Christians who aren't crazy and who don't try to intrude into the lives of others and who aren't concerned about things that don't concern them; they just want to believe what they believe and leave it at that. To those of you who practice accordingly...well, you know I'm not coming after you.

Unfortunately, most of your Christian "leadership" is made up of the biggest collection of vacuous c*nts this side of a Dutch whorehouse.

Everyone read this article. It's quick and concise:


Now I've ranted about this before, but in the last few days the issue has come to a head again and, frankly, I've just got to come out and say what I've been holding back all along:

I just don't think, by and large, that Christians are very intelligent people.

There. I said it.

Doesn't it bother anyone that the last election was won, basically, not because John Kerry was an idiot with no idea how to run a Presidential campaign (and trust me...he was an idiot), but because President Bush was able to convince his sheeptastic Christian fanbase that the real danger in this country wasn't terrorists who want to kill us or a rapidly devolving ecostructure or a flagging economy or the fact that his mismanagement of government and inane appointments are driving this country into the ground faster than a small Texas oil-grubbing outfit?

No, friends; the real evil in this country are a couple of dudes in Vermont who want to f*ck each other in the ass and get a break on their taxes while doing it. Gay Marriage: The Scourge That Shall Vanquish the Earth.

And you people were stupid enough to buy it.

In case you haven't been listening and the story linked above comes to you as a complete shock, our House of Representatives just NARROWLY defeated a bill that would have generated a CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT defining gay marriage as unlawful because it isn't between a man and a woman. If that's not ridiculous and frightening enough, consider this excerpt:

>>One conservative group, the Traditional Values Coalition, said it was a "good thing for traditional marriage" that the measure was unlikely to pass because it wasn't clear enough in ruling out civil unions between gays.

"We have just won several important court decisions in the past few weeks," said the coalition's executive director, Andrea Lafferty, but the amendment's proponents "are still playing 'Let's make a deal' with the liberals and the homosexual lobby."<<

Now look, if you're a gay rights activist and you're pushing for legalizing gay marriage, I'm on your side. I don't understand why these morons think they have the right to tell you whom you can or can't marry just because they believe in a questionable book that wouldn't register within the most mundane of fairy tales. But I think you're fighting the wrong battle if you try to bludgeon the half-wits over semantics. Let them have the fact that "marriage" only exists between a man and a woman; let them have their little Scrabble championship so they can tell their kids that once they fought the Bad Men and won and now only straight people can tank the sanctity of marriage at a 56% clip (though I have a feeling that would be left out of the narrative).

But that's exactly what about the above quote scares and pisses me off the most, and that's exactly what makes this issue not about religious beliefs or moral values or Conservative Ethics: they don't think a Constitutional Amendment against gay marriage is enough; they want to take away their rights to civil unions as well. It's not about an assumed propriety or keeping children safe or keeping the family core; it is, purely and simply, about egomaniacal control.

Sorry, is anyone else bothered by the fact that these people think they have the right to barge in on someone else's set of life choices and start calling the shots? Am I the only one who's not just completely incensed by this, even at a purely logical level? Civil unions are non-religious in nature; they don't proclaim anything to God, they don't defile the divine nature of your traditions and practices, they don't infringe on your own personal rights whatsoever. All they do is allow gay unioned couples the right to file join tax returns and experience all the same LEGAL rights as a straight married couple.

So what about that is so upsetting to you people that you feel the need to try to take away someone's freedom of choice? You don't like the fact that people are gay? That's f*cking tough, pal. Guess what? I think your religion is a sham. I think people that believe in it don't fully understand the world around them, and I think that you must have some screw loose upstairs to believe in a book written by fallible men that can't be validated to any viable degree. I think it does far more harm than good. And, perhaps worst of all, I don't think that most of the people who claim to believe in your religion understand the first g*ddamn thing about its history; you rake in everything the guy at the pulpit tells you and you never bother to question it.

That said, there isn't a moment in time where I'd ever try to enact legislation to make it illegal to believe what you believe in, to practice it whenever you want, or to allow people to persecute you because of it. Why? Because I'm a sensible, logical human being. Most of you, apparently, don't think on my level.

Which is why it's even more unsettling that, for those of you who ARE Christians and ARE on my level...you're not doing anything to speak up against the people who are bastardizing your religion. More often than not you're making excuses for them. By all means, even if they're totally off their gourd, you NEVER question a fellow Christian. That would be unGodly. Christian leaders are untouchable and perfect and never wrong. Were I you guys, I would support them blindly to the hilt. In fact, give Robert Tilton some more of your money so he can upgrade to a bigger mansion. I think he needs it to properly do God's Work.

I'm disgusted with the lot of you on this issue (and on a host of others, but that's neither here nor there at the moment). How about enacting some personal responsibility by practicing your religion rather than trying to legislate it? You think you could do that for five minutes? As far as I'm concerned, ya'll have got a long way to go with your own issues before you can try to start riding others about theirs.

Like I said, I'm a logical person. Much as I don't like it, I have to admit that there's a cosmic chance that your God runs this universe and all others and that your Bible is right on track and that you've got the bead on everyone else. I certainly don't think that's the case, but I have to admit the possibility is out there.

That stated, if that's the case and your so-called "perfect" God really seeks to engender such bigotry, ignorance and stupidity, I'm pretty content in saying I don't want any part of your Heaven. Until that point comes, though, I hope there are enough people who try to make sure that you don't f*ck up Earth for everyone else while they're here.