17 November 2003

How to Tell if That Email Is Spam: A Public Service Announcement from GooseTown


--Email spam is a pesky phenomenon that dominates our daily inboxes. I don't personally know anyone that doesn't outright delete it all, but apparently people who don't do so exist, as Spam proliferates countless personal addresses. Who are the people sending out this trash? And more importantly, why are so many people reading it that it becomes profitable? In any regard, if you are having problems determining what might be Spam and what might not be, here are some handy tips for consideration:

1) You receive a message with a Subject line reading "RE: Your membership application", yet you don't recall signing up at scratchingmytesticleswithaspoon.com.

2) Someone wants you to look at her webcam. If there is a girl out there that wants to give you free exposure to her personal lesbian-action sexual forays, I don't know her, and neither do you.

3) Your penis is big enough, you're not into nude midgets, you don't need a mortgage, you're not interested in harboring money for a representative of a foreign government, you've never thought about real estate in Madagascar, or you don't have a subscription to Celebrity Scat.

4) Your answer to the Subject line "Are you looking for fun in your area?" is "No". Or even if it's "Yes".

5) You don't need eXtRa $$$$$$$ To PaY OfF yOuR DeBt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!aksg41.

6) You don't recall having a friend at the email address jheurndbv09q384nfbjbfu@gsuew8345nj.net.

Asking yourself these simple question should alleviate any Spam-related headaches. Remember, though, these Spammers are getting ever more clever. Should questions arise, you know who to contact. More later.