28 October 2003

Answering an Email or Two

Email: GooseTownMail@yahoo.com

Actually got some emails on a few posts. Mostly from friends, which is nice in a melancholy sort of way. But it's a start. Sort of like your friend picking you last in dodgeball because you're buddies, knowing full well that your hands aren't big enough to grip the rubber deathspheres and therefore your throwing accuracy is that of a seven year old girl with no arms.

But I digress.

First email comes from Lolly, who I used to follow around The Highlawn Pavillion many a drunken night. She muses:

>>But I AM wondering, in regards to your opinion about cheerleading not
being a sport...if only the sports that have strict rules and
guidelines can be truly called sports (like baseball, football, etc.),
then does that make the Olympics an event that is NOT centered around
sports? I guess you could call it an athletic event, which "they"
might for all I know about sports. Just a thought that stemmed from
your thought...<<

Good question Lolly. While the Olympics are comprised of several NonSports (gymanastics, diving, ice skating) and a few Near Retarded NonSports (hereafter referred to as NRNS's--like rhythmic gymnastics, which seems to be based on a childish dare), they are built on far many more Sports (baseball, basketball, wrestling, skiing, luging, track, speedskating, and my new favorite, Skeleton). Therefore, I would say the Olympics are still Sports-based. However, the IOC threatens to damn this opinion if they continue to consider Ballroom Dancing as an "Olympic Event". This humble guy is firmly entrenched in the belief that if Ballroom Dacing becomes an "Olympic Event", the delicate fabric which gently binds time and space together will be irrevocably torn, resulting in the ultimate destruction of our very universe and putting an end to life as we know it.

Next question comes from one of the more nefarious members of The Crew, the lovely and talented Kimer, who upon reading my post about cheerleaders wondered:

"But the Dukettes are OK, right?"

Fret not, Kimer. For those unfortunately not inclined, the Dukettes were James Madison University's representative dance squadron. While they did perform at football games, they were not hyperspirited cheertrolls merely deflating their lungs. Think of them as more attractive and talented cheerleaders without the deafening suck. They also tend to be marginally less meaty than your average cheerleader, although as Kimer knows the Dukettes were never too good at "laying off the snacks".

Finally, for my loyal readers at Guelph University in sunny Canada, I salute you.